I was about 14 years old when my church youth
group visited an elderly woman and spent the evening keeping her
company. I remember the house was dim and outrageously hot and stuffy. I kept
looking at the clock above her head and thinking how slowly the
seconds were ticking by. But there is one moment that still stands out to
me. This very nice old lady asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Others in the group said "teacher", "nurse", "mom", but I
told her I wanted to be the President of the United States. After a
half beat of silence she and the entire group of women and girls burst
out laughing like I had told the most hilarious joke in the world. The
old lady sputtered out that women will never be presidents of the United
States and that I should set my sights on something lower. I argued
with her and told her I absolutely could do it and in a condescending,
placating voice she said, "Well honey, if anybody can do it I guess you
can". And then I watched her chuckle to herself for the rest of our
visit.
Now obviously, I am not the
President of the United States nor will I ever be, but it is not because
I am not capable. It is because I’m not interested. Those are two
different things. I have spent my life being told what I can and cannot do not only
by men, society, culture, church, but by other women who have bought
into the idea that we are "less than". I have spent my whole life
fighting against small mindedness.
Steve and I were registered Republicans until four years ago at
which time we switched ourselves from that affiliation to Independents. We made the decision based on the
candidate that was eventually elected and for the last four years have
watched in horror as common decency, common values, and humanity has
degraded at an alarming rate; in large part due to divisive rhetoric and hate speech. It is
absolutely true that as white people very little of what has been
shouted from the highest level of our government truly affects Steve or myself, but it absolutely impacts and shapes the world our minority children live in.
Due to the hate
speech and divisive rhetoric that has been allowed to fill news sources,
social media, and radio airwaves, it has made us starkly aware of the reality that
our children will be treated differently simply because of the color of
their skin. They can be the most accomplished pianist, they can graduate
with honors and advanced degrees, they can be the most service oriented
people, but they will be judged and potentially harmed
because the first (and sometimes only) thing people see is that they are black and brown which makes them a perceived threat.
What our leaders say matter. What our leaders do matter. Representation matters. How our leaders
communicate to and with American citizens and citizens of other nations...matter.
Steve and I wholeheartedly and enthusiastically support Joe Biden and
Kamala Harris. We support their global, economic, public health, and
climate change initiatives. We are encouraged by their message and hope they follow
through on the promises they’ve made during this factious, exhausting
election season.
Now it is absolutely true that we do not
agree on every single thing, but that is okay. I am a huge fan of
compromise. I have no idea when it became such a nasty word. Compromise
is absolutely vital to have productive and healing conversations that
promote meaningful change. As human beings we have completely diverse backgrounds and
experiences and we have to allow and celebrate those differences.
So...November 7, 2020… Steve and I have felt like our
nation could have gone one of two ways and we have been praying that on
election day Joe Biden and Kamala Harris would win. Today we watched as
they were announced as the new President-elect and Vice President-elect. We watched the election coverage
throughout the day and spent much of it choked up and emotional with
relief and gratitude in our hearts. Our children were confused why we
were so tearful and all we could say was representation matters. Kindness matters. And the message for my fourteen year old self? Women are strong, competent, confident. Women matter. Hopefully the message my children absorb will be that minorities matter. Your voice is unique and powerful. America needs you.
The face of relief and gratitude.
Steve built tinker crates with the kids while the elections results played in the background.
M baked a lemon custard pie.
M's self portrait. Brown is beautiful.
Now. While Steve and I are
feeling relief and hope for the first time in years we are well aware
that there is a violent and angry undercurrent in our nation. So while
we are rejoicing, we have said quietly to ourselves throughout the
day, there is no way that this is going to be a smooth transition of
power. There is no way that the ugly and hateful and evil forces that we
have seen grow more frenzied over the last few years will crawl back under the rock
they came from. We hope we are wrong.
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