C is a year old. What an intense start, but what a sweet finish. Spunky, smart, curious, friendly, cheerful, a to die for smile, a precious gut laugh, large eyes that light up a room. Some fun facts: he has a wicked throwing arm, every animal he sees elicits a soft "who who" (woof woof), he is territorial and will defend his position, he adores his siblings and will follow them to the ends of the earth. We are so blessed to have this little guy. That boy is a joy. Happy birthday Baby! I love you!
To mark the day we headed to the swimming pool. Turns out we have a water baby and swimming lessons have paid off for M, J, and D. We had a great time swimming and splashing around.
And we took a moment to celebrate with a cupcake after dinner. It was a long moment. It took him 15 minutes to even begin to lick the frosting off his fingers. And then 15 more minutes before he was done demolishing the spongy goodness. So here is just a smattering of the moment.
With each of my baby's one year birthdays I have reflected on how they came to us and C is no different. Frankly, it has been a rough few weeks, but it has also allowed me to reflect on the many good things that were going on during that walk through hell. I have shared some of the difficult things, but I am finally ready to acknowledge some of the tender mercies we experienced. Also I should mention that I have not publicly reflected on the blog about M, J, and D's birth stories and that is out of a deep love and respect for their birth families because our greatest joy was their greatest pain.
In the week prior to C's delivery I was able to get all the kids to their various annual doctors appointments and get new glasses for M. I was also able to complete all their school supply shopping. There was no way of knowing that I would not have been able to do any of that had we waited until after the baby was born.
On Friday night I got a bee in my bonnet to do a quick grocery shopping trip. We were only going to grab a few items, but there were such great deals on food like strawberries and pizzas for J that we loaded up on the kid's favorite foods. This meant the fridge and pantry were packed when my water broke two days later.
Three months before I was due I ran the numbers and figured out how to finish paying off the last of our adoption debt. It would require me to work my last shift on July 9th so I would be cutting it close since my due date was the 19th, but it could be done. I was vaguely ill all day at work on the 9th, but when I finished my shift I was jubilant. In addition, my thoughtful coworkers gave us a generous monetary gift to help with baby expenses. We were (and still are) officially debt free.
The next day was Sunday and I felt great at church. I even ran to catch up with someone. (Not far, but still I ran.) After church I told Steve exactly what I needed him to do when it was time to go to the hospital, namely, he was not to talk to me. Do not ask me how I am doing because the answer is I'm freaked out. Also there will be no speeding. Drive calmly to the hospital. Also whatever I tell you I need is exactly what I need. Please do not vary from any request I have. Turns out it was a timely conversation that we were able to put into action six hours later and Steve was amazing.
That night we got the kids to bed, the cats fed for the night, and were heading to bed early when my water broke. I had spent the last few days periodically piling items on the dresser for the hospital so Steve was able to throw everything in a backpack without any delay. I had also talked to a friend a few days before about being available to sit with the kids until my Sister could get there. She told me she would be there at a moments notice. And she was. Ten minutes after my water broke Steve and I were leaving for the hospital with bags packed and friend in charge.
I had always planned to get an epidural and the doctor that administered mine was incredible. I am terrified of needles. When the pain was too great I gave specific instructions to the nurse to call the anesthesiologist, but explain to him that he was not to talk about what he was doing with me at all. Please just do your job. By the time he came my body was wracked with pain and though I tried I could not follow his instruction to move to the edge of the bed. He saw that and picked me up and placed me gently where he needed me and then allowed me to stay laying down during the procedure. It was a perfectly placed epidural from a skilled and compassionate provider.
During my pregnancy, I had the most amazing OB and felt completely confident in his skills and ability. He was thorough and I never felt rushed. He was always willing to seek out answers and follow up with me at home once he got them. Toward the end of my pregnancy we spent an entire office visit on my extensive questions about c-sections. He told me only 20% of women have them and the conversation was most likely unnecessary, but he went over everything in depth so I could be mentally prepared if needed. Once it was determined that a c-section was my only option I was so grateful he and I had reviewed this possibility. But I was even more grateful that he is the one who performed the c-section. He was kind and compassionate with strong clinical skills. Steve described the moment he arrived in the operating room as the cavalry arriving to save the day. He was incredible.
During my hospital stay and C's NICU stay I was grateful for our family. My Sister who slept at our house for the six nights I was gone. My Brother who dropped off a breast pump at my house after we forgot it at my Mom's house. My Sister who rearranged her life for the next four weeks to take M, J, and D during the day while I was in the hospital and C was in the NICU. Steve's parents who watched M, J, and D while we visited C in the NICU and who made us several dinners to heat up when we got hungry. My Mom who stayed in the hospital with Steve and I while I was in labor and helped me change positions, chux, bedding, and gowns. Who took C from me the minute we were back in the room after delivery. Who took me to the ER when I wasn't improving after being discharged from the hospital. Who watched M, J, and D. But most importantly she went the NICU almost daily and held C when I could not be there. During this experience I was in awe of Steve. I married an amazing man. I was reminded over and over again how good he is. How kind and loving. How gentle and caring. I am one of the lucky ones who has a supportive husband and I am blessed to be his wife.
We were also grateful for the friends who stepped in and helped watch the kids. One of my friends took them to church and watched them on Sundays so we could spend those days with C. Another took them in on Pioneer Day and included my kids in their family activities so we could be with the baby. Another friend sent a care package for the kids to keep them occupied. Usually in my LDS congregation when a woman gives birth the Relief Society arranges two meals to be brought in, but when they announced what had happened people signed up to bring meals every other night for two weeks. And then for an additional two weeks people just showed up at our door with food. I was especially touched by how every single person had gone out of their way to accommodate J's wheat allergy. I even had friends that went grocery shopping for me in the weeks after we came home. There were also countless prayers offered and good vibes sent on our behalf.
The surgeon who operated on C was fantastic. He was thorough, knowledgeable, and was able to give us a sense of hope. There was never a second he doubted he had fixed the problem and C healed exactly and in the time frame he told us he would.
The Ronald McDonald Family Room was an absolute blessing. Being able to grab something quick and healthy to eat and run back to C's bedside was a precious gift that we intend to pay forward.
We were blessed with so many friends and family dropping off cases of diapers and monetary gifts that we have not had to purchase any diapers, wipes, or baby food during C's first year.
During my pregnancy I asked Heavenly Father for a textbook peaceful delivery. I did not get that, but even though C's delivery and subsequent NICU stay was not at all what I wanted I am so so so grateful that he lived. That he is healthy. That there were no disabilities as a result of the experience. That we are here as an intact family a year later loving, laughing, and living. And for that I am blessed and forever grateful.
To mark the day we headed to the swimming pool. Turns out we have a water baby and swimming lessons have paid off for M, J, and D. We had a great time swimming and splashing around.
And we took a moment to celebrate with a cupcake after dinner. It was a long moment. It took him 15 minutes to even begin to lick the frosting off his fingers. And then 15 more minutes before he was done demolishing the spongy goodness. So here is just a smattering of the moment.
With each of my baby's one year birthdays I have reflected on how they came to us and C is no different. Frankly, it has been a rough few weeks, but it has also allowed me to reflect on the many good things that were going on during that walk through hell. I have shared some of the difficult things, but I am finally ready to acknowledge some of the tender mercies we experienced. Also I should mention that I have not publicly reflected on the blog about M, J, and D's birth stories and that is out of a deep love and respect for their birth families because our greatest joy was their greatest pain.
In the week prior to C's delivery I was able to get all the kids to their various annual doctors appointments and get new glasses for M. I was also able to complete all their school supply shopping. There was no way of knowing that I would not have been able to do any of that had we waited until after the baby was born.
On Friday night I got a bee in my bonnet to do a quick grocery shopping trip. We were only going to grab a few items, but there were such great deals on food like strawberries and pizzas for J that we loaded up on the kid's favorite foods. This meant the fridge and pantry were packed when my water broke two days later.
Three months before I was due I ran the numbers and figured out how to finish paying off the last of our adoption debt. It would require me to work my last shift on July 9th so I would be cutting it close since my due date was the 19th, but it could be done. I was vaguely ill all day at work on the 9th, but when I finished my shift I was jubilant. In addition, my thoughtful coworkers gave us a generous monetary gift to help with baby expenses. We were (and still are) officially debt free.
The next day was Sunday and I felt great at church. I even ran to catch up with someone. (Not far, but still I ran.) After church I told Steve exactly what I needed him to do when it was time to go to the hospital, namely, he was not to talk to me. Do not ask me how I am doing because the answer is I'm freaked out. Also there will be no speeding. Drive calmly to the hospital. Also whatever I tell you I need is exactly what I need. Please do not vary from any request I have. Turns out it was a timely conversation that we were able to put into action six hours later and Steve was amazing.
That night we got the kids to bed, the cats fed for the night, and were heading to bed early when my water broke. I had spent the last few days periodically piling items on the dresser for the hospital so Steve was able to throw everything in a backpack without any delay. I had also talked to a friend a few days before about being available to sit with the kids until my Sister could get there. She told me she would be there at a moments notice. And she was. Ten minutes after my water broke Steve and I were leaving for the hospital with bags packed and friend in charge.
I had always planned to get an epidural and the doctor that administered mine was incredible. I am terrified of needles. When the pain was too great I gave specific instructions to the nurse to call the anesthesiologist, but explain to him that he was not to talk about what he was doing with me at all. Please just do your job. By the time he came my body was wracked with pain and though I tried I could not follow his instruction to move to the edge of the bed. He saw that and picked me up and placed me gently where he needed me and then allowed me to stay laying down during the procedure. It was a perfectly placed epidural from a skilled and compassionate provider.
During my pregnancy, I had the most amazing OB and felt completely confident in his skills and ability. He was thorough and I never felt rushed. He was always willing to seek out answers and follow up with me at home once he got them. Toward the end of my pregnancy we spent an entire office visit on my extensive questions about c-sections. He told me only 20% of women have them and the conversation was most likely unnecessary, but he went over everything in depth so I could be mentally prepared if needed. Once it was determined that a c-section was my only option I was so grateful he and I had reviewed this possibility. But I was even more grateful that he is the one who performed the c-section. He was kind and compassionate with strong clinical skills. Steve described the moment he arrived in the operating room as the cavalry arriving to save the day. He was incredible.
During my hospital stay and C's NICU stay I was grateful for our family. My Sister who slept at our house for the six nights I was gone. My Brother who dropped off a breast pump at my house after we forgot it at my Mom's house. My Sister who rearranged her life for the next four weeks to take M, J, and D during the day while I was in the hospital and C was in the NICU. Steve's parents who watched M, J, and D while we visited C in the NICU and who made us several dinners to heat up when we got hungry. My Mom who stayed in the hospital with Steve and I while I was in labor and helped me change positions, chux, bedding, and gowns. Who took C from me the minute we were back in the room after delivery. Who took me to the ER when I wasn't improving after being discharged from the hospital. Who watched M, J, and D. But most importantly she went the NICU almost daily and held C when I could not be there. During this experience I was in awe of Steve. I married an amazing man. I was reminded over and over again how good he is. How kind and loving. How gentle and caring. I am one of the lucky ones who has a supportive husband and I am blessed to be his wife.
We were also grateful for the friends who stepped in and helped watch the kids. One of my friends took them to church and watched them on Sundays so we could spend those days with C. Another took them in on Pioneer Day and included my kids in their family activities so we could be with the baby. Another friend sent a care package for the kids to keep them occupied. Usually in my LDS congregation when a woman gives birth the Relief Society arranges two meals to be brought in, but when they announced what had happened people signed up to bring meals every other night for two weeks. And then for an additional two weeks people just showed up at our door with food. I was especially touched by how every single person had gone out of their way to accommodate J's wheat allergy. I even had friends that went grocery shopping for me in the weeks after we came home. There were also countless prayers offered and good vibes sent on our behalf.
The surgeon who operated on C was fantastic. He was thorough, knowledgeable, and was able to give us a sense of hope. There was never a second he doubted he had fixed the problem and C healed exactly and in the time frame he told us he would.
The Ronald McDonald Family Room was an absolute blessing. Being able to grab something quick and healthy to eat and run back to C's bedside was a precious gift that we intend to pay forward.
We were blessed with so many friends and family dropping off cases of diapers and monetary gifts that we have not had to purchase any diapers, wipes, or baby food during C's first year.
During my pregnancy I asked Heavenly Father for a textbook peaceful delivery. I did not get that, but even though C's delivery and subsequent NICU stay was not at all what I wanted I am so so so grateful that he lived. That he is healthy. That there were no disabilities as a result of the experience. That we are here as an intact family a year later loving, laughing, and living. And for that I am blessed and forever grateful.
Comments
Post a Comment