When I was a teenager I worried about weird things. For instance, I worried that someday when I grew up and had babies I would not be able to produce enough breast milk. See? Weird, right?
Then I got married and we could not make babies so clearly worrying about my breast milk supply had been a waste of youthful energy.
Then we adopted three beautiful babies and used formula with fabulous results. I mean, they grew chunky, we bonded great, and they are some of the healthiest, smartest bunch in these parts. I am a HUGE fan of formula.
But then we did fertility treatments and I birthed a baby and suddenly there was milk coming out of my body. Trippy stuff. Turns out all that I had been told and believed about breastfeeding was a bunch of hooey.
Following is a list of the most popular lies told by breastfeeding advocates. And since I have bottle fed three babies and breastfed one, I do mean LIES!!!!
1. It's natural. Truth: Natural for who? Are they including humans in the animal kingdom where a giraffe/cow/fox/manatee/etc. is born and minutes after the mother eats the afterbirth the baby begins to suckle? Because I am not one of those mammals. I'm not interested in eating afterbirth and it was totally unnatural to have a baby attached to my breast after 35 years of just being me (and on occasion Steve).
2. It doesn't hurt as long as the baby has a good latch. Truth: Violent, violent pain. VIOLENT. The lactation specialists put all the pressure on mom to create a good latch, but C had tongue and lip tie which no amount of repositioning could fix. Also they tell you to stick it out because the first 6 weeks are the worst, but after that it will get better. 6 WEEKS???!!!! That is an eternity when a baby eats every two hours. And guess what? After 6 weeks it still isn't a comfortable walk in the park.
3. It's good for bonding. Truth: No it's not. It hurts like the dickens and while the baby might be bonding, mom is mentally gearing up, breaking into a cold sweat, and dreading the next feeding. I mean, only a masochist would become emotionally close to someone who is physically hurting them. Well, a masochist and a breastfeeding mother...
4. Your body will only produce what the baby needs so you will always know your baby is getting enough. Truth: Really? How do you know? Because I didn't know. I spent the whole time hoping C was full because my breasts aren't see through. There were so many times he was clearly not full and could have eaten more. I liken bottle feeding to an all-you can-eat-buffet whereas breastfeeding is more of a light lunch that will tide you over until dinner. Great nutrition, but leaves you wanting more.
5. It's convenient. Truth: Lies, lies, and more lies. Since when is it convenient or comfortable to pull up your shirt in front of people? I have never been on an episode of Girls Gone Wild, but from the reactions I get from people you would think I had a staring role. Sure, you are not carrying a bottle around, but you are carrying diapers, wipes, changing pad, an extra outfit, pacifier, blanket, etc. so what is one more thing?
6. Your baby weight will melt away. Truth: Not for me. Nope. I have held onto that extra baby weight so I could feed the baby. So that was disappointing.
And the last one.
7. It's empowering. Truth: It is. That one is not a lie. When C was in the NICU at Primary Children's the only thing I could do was pump breast milk with the hope that it would aid in his recovery. I used to watch the nurses put syringes of my milk into his feeding tube and pray that it would add one more layer of healing. Pumping was awful, but I did it for him. When he came home and breastfeeding was even more awful I strongly considered giving up. One night I was talking to my Mom and she told me I would figure it out because I am tough. She's right. I am tough. And we did figure it out. The first five months were brutal, but I did it because I wanted the experience and I wanted to save money. Right around the five month mark I finally started enjoying the time I had with C instead of anticipating the pain and inconvenience. At six months he got teeth so I had one solid month where I loved breastfeeding. (I'm telling you his teeth might as well have been razor blades.) But I love the fact that for the first six months of life (outside of my belly) my milk was the only thing he needed to sustain life. And I love that when I went back to work he did not want to take a bottle for Steve. He wanted the real deal. Me. That was empowering.
Which brings me to this post. My milk supply dried up a few days ago and C has refused formula in all its forms so after talking to the pediatrician, tonight we introduced him to whole milk.
I sat on the couch and held him while he drank from a sippy cup.
He thought it was yummy and he drank a few ounces while I watched with tears slowly coursing down my cheeks. I carried him to his crib and rocked him. As his body relaxed and grew heavy in my arms the tears flowed freely falling from my cheeks to his. They were mostly tears of gratitude mingled with some sadness. Breastfeeding was not at all what I thought it would be, but for eleven months my body made milk and sustained life. An amazing and difficult opportunity that I will be forever grateful for. Another chapter closed.
Then I got married and we could not make babies so clearly worrying about my breast milk supply had been a waste of youthful energy.
Then we adopted three beautiful babies and used formula with fabulous results. I mean, they grew chunky, we bonded great, and they are some of the healthiest, smartest bunch in these parts. I am a HUGE fan of formula.
But then we did fertility treatments and I birthed a baby and suddenly there was milk coming out of my body. Trippy stuff. Turns out all that I had been told and believed about breastfeeding was a bunch of hooey.
Following is a list of the most popular lies told by breastfeeding advocates. And since I have bottle fed three babies and breastfed one, I do mean LIES!!!!
1. It's natural. Truth: Natural for who? Are they including humans in the animal kingdom where a giraffe/cow/fox/manatee/etc. is born and minutes after the mother eats the afterbirth the baby begins to suckle? Because I am not one of those mammals. I'm not interested in eating afterbirth and it was totally unnatural to have a baby attached to my breast after 35 years of just being me (and on occasion Steve).
2. It doesn't hurt as long as the baby has a good latch. Truth: Violent, violent pain. VIOLENT. The lactation specialists put all the pressure on mom to create a good latch, but C had tongue and lip tie which no amount of repositioning could fix. Also they tell you to stick it out because the first 6 weeks are the worst, but after that it will get better. 6 WEEKS???!!!! That is an eternity when a baby eats every two hours. And guess what? After 6 weeks it still isn't a comfortable walk in the park.
3. It's good for bonding. Truth: No it's not. It hurts like the dickens and while the baby might be bonding, mom is mentally gearing up, breaking into a cold sweat, and dreading the next feeding. I mean, only a masochist would become emotionally close to someone who is physically hurting them. Well, a masochist and a breastfeeding mother...
4. Your body will only produce what the baby needs so you will always know your baby is getting enough. Truth: Really? How do you know? Because I didn't know. I spent the whole time hoping C was full because my breasts aren't see through. There were so many times he was clearly not full and could have eaten more. I liken bottle feeding to an all-you can-eat-buffet whereas breastfeeding is more of a light lunch that will tide you over until dinner. Great nutrition, but leaves you wanting more.
5. It's convenient. Truth: Lies, lies, and more lies. Since when is it convenient or comfortable to pull up your shirt in front of people? I have never been on an episode of Girls Gone Wild, but from the reactions I get from people you would think I had a staring role. Sure, you are not carrying a bottle around, but you are carrying diapers, wipes, changing pad, an extra outfit, pacifier, blanket, etc. so what is one more thing?
6. Your baby weight will melt away. Truth: Not for me. Nope. I have held onto that extra baby weight so I could feed the baby. So that was disappointing.
And the last one.
7. It's empowering. Truth: It is. That one is not a lie. When C was in the NICU at Primary Children's the only thing I could do was pump breast milk with the hope that it would aid in his recovery. I used to watch the nurses put syringes of my milk into his feeding tube and pray that it would add one more layer of healing. Pumping was awful, but I did it for him. When he came home and breastfeeding was even more awful I strongly considered giving up. One night I was talking to my Mom and she told me I would figure it out because I am tough. She's right. I am tough. And we did figure it out. The first five months were brutal, but I did it because I wanted the experience and I wanted to save money. Right around the five month mark I finally started enjoying the time I had with C instead of anticipating the pain and inconvenience. At six months he got teeth so I had one solid month where I loved breastfeeding. (I'm telling you his teeth might as well have been razor blades.) But I love the fact that for the first six months of life (outside of my belly) my milk was the only thing he needed to sustain life. And I love that when I went back to work he did not want to take a bottle for Steve. He wanted the real deal. Me. That was empowering.
The last of my milk.
Which brings me to this post. My milk supply dried up a few days ago and C has refused formula in all its forms so after talking to the pediatrician, tonight we introduced him to whole milk.
I sat on the couch and held him while he drank from a sippy cup.
He thought it was yummy and he drank a few ounces while I watched with tears slowly coursing down my cheeks. I carried him to his crib and rocked him. As his body relaxed and grew heavy in my arms the tears flowed freely falling from my cheeks to his. They were mostly tears of gratitude mingled with some sadness. Breastfeeding was not at all what I thought it would be, but for eleven months my body made milk and sustained life. An amazing and difficult opportunity that I will be forever grateful for. Another chapter closed.
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