Steve has taken the next week off of work and is managing to care for me, our children and the house. I can barely move without his help. It is time to visit C and I am nervous. Steve wheels me to C's bedside. Today is a better day. I can hold him without experiencing violent waves of nausea. For a brief moment I feel like myself. I don't want to leave him, yet I am wracked with sadness and guilt about not being with our other three children. When it is time to leave, placing him in his bassinet and walking away for others to care for him gives me a glimpse into what my children's birth mothers may have felt and I am overcome with what must have been their grief combined with my own.
Comments
Post a Comment