Sometimes it hurts

I have the best jobs in the world. I am a wife, mother, and social worker. I have loved being a wife and mother and even majored in Human Development and Family Studies so I could have a thorough understanding of the intricacies of what would someday be my life's work. (Side note: Steve minored in the same thing.) I always thought 12 kids sounded about right. After we got married we tried to have kids right away and spent the next five and half years in that quest before M joined us. When we learned we would not be able to bear our own children, I decided I needed to choose an education that could make me feel productive. I chose Social Work and have loved it. It is intense, stimulating, outrageous, and humorous. I work 2 weekends a month which has been awesome because I can be a fabulous (and totally hot) wife, an amazing hands-on mom, and then switch to a competent professional. But sometimes my paying job hurts...I get called in on situations where infants and children have been intentionally or unintentionally harmed by those adults in their lives who are supposed to protect, love, and cherish them. When I am dealing with these situations I am completely professional, but inside a part of me fights not to crumble. I try not to ask why people who cannot care for their children seem to have so many when I don't take M for granted for a single minute and am ready for more. There is no answer to that question.

Steve is an incredible dad. In fact, that is why I married him. I could see he would be the dad who gets on the floor and has tickle fights or play catch in the yard or reads stories or sneaks candy to his kids and tells them not to tell Mommy. M idealizes him. They are football buddies (or any other sport that happens to be on). She runs to welcome him home whenever she hears the garage door open and can't wait to tell him about all the adventures she had that day. We love her so much. She is amazing in every way. All children are amazing and it deeply affects me when I work with people who harm them. Life isn't fair and sometimes it hurts.